What is love bombing, and how do high-control groups recruit people?

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. Because such affection may meet felt needs and does not look harmful on the surface, it often does not seem like a cause for alarm. The expression was coined by members of the Unification Church in the United States in the 1970s, and scholars and writers have since used it for a recruiting and bonding technique in high-control groups, and for the start of controlling relationships.

Psychology professor Margaret Singer described it in her 1996 book as a coordinated effort in which long-term members flood recruits with flattery, affectionate but usually nonsexual touching and lots of attention to their every remark. She called the offer of instant companionship a deceptive ploy behind many successful recruitment drives. The same pattern has been described in some romance scams and abusive relationships: intense attention in a short time, and pressure for very rapid commitment.

It is easy to get the idea wrong, though. Warmth is not a warning sign on its own, and sociologist John Lofland found in the early 1960s that most people who joined a California group did so because of personal relationships with members, often family ones. For relationships, psychiatrist Dale Archer's test is what happens next: if the affection continues, actions match words and nothing is withdrawn as a punishment, it is probably not love bombing.